the first day of kindergarten was wonderful.
one of the top ten in my life.
i love to learn
and i can remember so much...
nap times, m&m's from the wake up fairy,
going for milk with the red wagon from our class.
it was safe, freeing, and is also
where I began my love affair with music.

the next closest memory is seeing

my friend for the last time.

we had both been involved, our families

friendship split forever when they moved.

she was older, but not by much.

we swung in her backyard.

when i was very young, my name was changed.
but not before some horrible things happened.
in a small rural town,
a pastor was molesting young girls.
there are little snippets,
like a slideshow, that I remember.
Church, police, questions, swinging, laughter,
friendship, red curtains, strangers,
doctors, hard truths

august 1976

not when i was born

but when the lies began.

i am older than my birth certificate is

Sadness in D minor

so there was a day, so very long ago I never speak of .

at least not anymore.

not in half my lifetime.

i have flashes of pictures

which i can piece together

and tell the tale with;

but only if you

would like to go along with me.

cold hard truth meets

warm flesh and blood person.

who really knows me anyway?

You were right

But where are you now? I'm at a junction. It's a bad place to be. Rock met hard place and here I am angry. Furious. Rend your heart to pieces to break you down so you'll finally see me. Loved my mom, but never knew me. Never trusted. Now fuck with my life? Don't think so.

And a year later, much better than was ever deserved. We've had a marriage, three deaths, one birth, and soon to be two milestone anniversaries. Almost ten years for my beloved and I...